Hello, son.
If ever you find yourself at the great crossroads of destiny and life, it is my hope that you read these letters again, and find home in their dusty pages.
It was always amazing to me to see folks working out and lifting heavy weights. I'd marvel at how quickly and beautifully they would grip the metal bar from which the weights hung and yank it up above their heads. A more spectacular scene for me was a wrestling match. To win, a fighter had to hold his opponent down in full submission in a battle of wits and fists. The winner was expected to be the stronger of the two.
Guessing the winner before a wrestling match was easy for me. All I had to do was compare the muscle sizes of the fighters and bet on the one with larger muscles. I saw strength as muscles then.
Growing up a little bit more, I began to see strength as power and wealth! The elevated man was stronger than the common man, and the rich man was stronger than the poor man. The bigger man says jump, and the smaller man asks, “How high?” — This was how I perceived strength.
The problem with this perception of strength was that it led me to become obsessed with power and wealth. I wanted power, craved over wealth, and saw them as the only way I could show my strength in the community. Only after long reflections and study did I realize what true strength was really about.
Throughout history, we've seen many people do crazy things for power or to demonstrate their strength. The battle for the strongest is one that humanity has been fighting for a long time and will continue to fight for generations to come until we realize that true strength is not measured by fists or muscles, nor by power or wealth. True strength is something far abstract. It’s something we see only when we look carefully inwards.
True strength, my son, is recognizing your uniqueness as well as the uniqueness of every other being in the universe. So, how me your strength by learning to accept yourself exactly as you are. Show me your strength by accepting that everyone is unique and cannot be like you, no matter how difficult it gets.
Strength is taking risks and accepting responsibility for the outcomes. So, show me how strong you are by taking a step even when you can't see the entire staircase.
Son, strength is knowing when to end toxic friendships, partnerships, and relationships. Yes! Show me how strong you are by knowing when to say, “I quit!”
Strength is drawing a line between fantasy and reality, setting your goals and working badly to achieve them. Strength is understanding that every day is a test, and everyone’s got a different question paper. Strength is walking away from unproductive meetings, discussions, and arguments. You’re strong, my son, if you can take a deep breath and lower your pride to say the words, "Please," and “I’m sorry.”
True strength is standing up for something! Not because it’s okay, not because it what’s trending, but because it’s what’s right!
Strength is reaching out to others and defying the allure of self-centeredness because, in the end, kindness is all that really matters. Strength is believing in one humanity. One that is devoid of racism, tribalism, and prejudice. Son, show me your strength by shunning evil and injustice, and fighting them with every fiber of your being.
Show me how strong you are by letting the past, pass. Strong people know that there is no future in the past. Show me you are strong by giving without remembering, and taking without forgetting.
Son, true strength has never meant pushing people down. In fact, pushing down requires little strength. The real strength is shown when you can pull a person up! So, show me your strength by lifting people up rather than putting them down.
Show me how strong you are by accepting change when it is necessary, because change is the only constant. You are stronger than I am, son, for you have my brains and a better heart. Stand by those who can't stand on their own. Soar, fight, and do not be afraid to make mistakes. They make us wiser!
You are powerful if you can rise above obloquy and calumny. If you can turn your fear into a dare, or your discrimination into veneration, you're a strong man, dear son.
Now get out of bed for opportunity is knocking. It finds you wherever you are, whether you live in a shabby, bushy cottage or a castle on a hill. Get up right now, son. Go to it and greet it warmly, as it is not a regular visitor.
I’ll leave with you a piece from Sir. Rudyard Kipling, who goes:
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings — nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run —
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!”
Till we meet again, son, at tables meant for kings.
Your dear father.